Cabin Fever and Anxiety

It has been a long time since people had to do all of their living in a single location. As a result, many of us are starting to go a little stir crazy right now. We have our kids at home, our pets are so excited that we’re around all the time. Two partners, or multiple roommates may all be working from home. If we’re lucky, our jobs are still paying us, and if we aren’t we are anxiously awaiting the relief packages from congress. Regardless of our circumstances, everyone is feeling anxiety to one degree or another. The trick with anxiety is that it can lead to some interesting ways of coping. Some of these are healthy, and some are… well… questionable. I’ve heard from clients and colleagues that people are doing a lot of the same things, some of them are helpful and some not so much.

Watching the News for the Latest Updates

Being informed is great, but in the current world of 24 hour news it is less likely to be useful to have the television or twitter feed going all day. Only fifteen years ago it was unusual for us to have instant access to information. News outlets and social media companies capitalize on this and keep us engaged lest we lose a minute of connection to their content (and thus advertising). Spare yourself the torture, and instead pick two times and durations each day that can be informative. Do you have a favorite broadcaster? Or maybe a time when the kids are asleep and you can concentrate? Pick one to two hours per day for news consumption, and no more. Trust me, if something important comes up you’ll hear about it!

Looking for Happy Memes, Good News, or Alternative Stories

On its face, this is perfectly fine during a crisis. Everyone needs to laugh, and feel a little lighter in the midst of crisis. However, doing too much of this or ignoring the crisis all together is not good for you either. Similarly if you feel the need to pray 10 hours per day, you are probably only managing anxiety, not really connecting to something bigger than yourself. Be aware that there is a tendency to downplay or minimize fear in the midst of a crisis. This is normal. Keep an eye on it though, if it starts to become an hours long obsession every day, then perhaps you are engaging in “spiritual bypass” a term that reflects the practice of taking the specifics out of situation and avoiding negative feelings by replacing them with God, Spirituality, Laughter, or easy moral judgments. Reflect a little bit to see if you’re avoiding your anxiety. If you are, look at one more cat video, and then do something else, like read, go for a walk, or spend time with your actual cat.

Tweeting all Day

It’s been said that Twitter is the angry uncle of the social media world. Everyone who wants to spew their frustration and anger in 240 characters can do so on Twitter. A little righteous anger is good for us. There are certainly many causes at issue right now that can raise the ire of even the most soulful monk. However, tweeting away at other people to help calm your own anger and anxiety is actually doing the opposite. Researchers have determined that when you indulge anger too much, you actually increase it. It give your brain a little reward of pleasure in excess, and thus you have an incentive to do it more. A moderate amount of acknowledging anger that is organic and arises from your true feelings of hurt, betrayal, or outrage is appropriate. It is better to keep this in your journal, or share it with people close to you rather than spew it all over social media. 

Staying in your PJs all day and binging on Netflix

You have permission to do this once and while. We all feel the need to revisit the entire lifetime of Outlander, Star Trek, or Friends after all. Certainly being inside and keeping your composure in isolation is rough on anyone and everyone. However, if you stay in the SAME PJs and stay on the sofa for 10+ hours for days at a time, you’re going to hurt your brain. The body needs to move, and the psyche needs routine and connection to not be pulled into depression. Make yourself a schedule, and start with one or two things first. Get up at 8A everyday, then put on work out clothes, workout, and shower. Then the next day add a new activity, (like calling one friend) to the schedule until you have at least 3, and up to 5 or 6 including work. Doing this will help you build up to a routine, and help keep your psyche in balance.

Overscheduling

I had a client so proud of herself about her “pandemic schedule” she sent me a PDF and wanted to discuss it in our next telehealth session. I was aghast at what she sent me. She had scheduled her day starting at 6:05 A every morning, all the way to 9P at night, and filled every hour with something to do- on half hour increments, with two 1/2 hour meals, and two fifteen minute breaks. I told her I thought she was very ambitious, but perhaps needed to slow this process down. People are experiencing a great deal of stress right now. One of the concerns is the emotional and psychological overhead of being concerned about loved ones, the economy, children, and the state of the world. Filling every moment is part denial, and part work-a-holism to the extreme. Don’t over schedule at home out of the gate. This will make you frustrated if you can’t live up to your ideals, and could contribute to anxiety. Instead, ramp up over days or weeks adding things that make working at home easier. The first week, get up at your regular work time if you can, or 1/2 hour later.  Go for a walk or run, or get on your exercise bike for 30 minutes. Then have your coffee, and take a shower. Work for 3-4 hours and see how you feel. Take a meal break. Finish your work day. Repeat for a few days, and see what makes sense to add, and at what point.

Discharge and Recharge

Everyone needs a certain amount of discharge and recharge in their week. Discharging the events of the day or week is doing mindless things that just help you wind down. You have experienced this if you’ve ever worked late, and are exhausted, but you still need to watch an hour of tv or play video games just to help your brain unwind. That’s discharge. Then there’s recharge. Recharge is categorically different. Recharge reconnects you to yourself, to your goals, to your identity or deep self. Recharge activities are typically things that make you feel better. If you are a creative person this might be something like playing an instrument, or writing. It could be painting, drawing or dancing. If you are an athlete, this might mean going for a run, working on your technique, or getting in a few laps in the pool. 

When you are in a situation that is stressful you need more discharge AND more recharge. Normally, you need 1/4-1/8 the amount of discharge to the amount of work. So if you work for eight hours, you need 1-2 hours of discharge.  You need 1/2 again as much recharge to discharge. So you you got 2 hours of discharge, you need 1 hour of recharge. Recharge can be done cumulatively for the week, where as discharge needs to be incremental. Recharge can be done weekly, or a couple times a week, where discharge needs to be daily.  

Whatever you do to fill your day be on the lookout for ruminating, worry, avoiding your feelings, too much discharge (like sitting on the couch) and not enough recharge. Be sure to have a balanced schedule, and one that gives you plenty of room for experimentation. Most people haven’t lived like this in over 100 years, where work, home, school, and leisure all happen in the same place. It is going to take a little bit of work to figure out how to do it well, and what your right balance is.