5 Ways to Deal with Relationship Conflict

Do you ever feel like your partner misunderstands you? Do you feel unheard in your relationship?

You might think about how incredible it felt at the beginning of your relationship. Didn’t it start because you and your partner lifted each other up to come closer together? 

Then why, when you argue, does it feel like you’re miles apart?

The truth is conflict in our relationships is unavoidable. Even the happiest couples have disagreements. What distinguishes successful relationships from the rest is how partners in the relationship approach disagreements.

Contempt. Contempt is dangerous because it shows up as comments that make one partner seem superior to the other.
Defensiveness. Defensiveness shows up when the defensive partner makes excuses or deflects blame instead of taking responsibility.
Stonewalling. Stonewalling shows up when a partner completely shuts down and builds a wall instead of confronting the issue.
Selfishness. Sometimes we get so focused on our own needs that we overlook the importance of acknowledging our partner’s needs and desires.

The way you resolve each disagreement can salvage your relationship.

Healthy ways to deal with disagreements in relationships:

If you find yourself in a conflict loop, step away from the idea of “winning” the argument. Instead, take the steps above to listen to your partner, be curious, or even take a break.

Before you end the conflict resolution conversation, ask your partner how you can support them. Asking how you can support each other is a great way to revisit your original, loving intentions that you had for each other.

Disagreements are a natural part of every relationship. Learning healthy ways to deal with those disagreements will help you learn more about your partner and build trust in the relationship.

Turn your conflicts into opportunities to strengthen your relationship with the help of couples counseling! You’ll both enjoy the results!  Contact us to schedule a session we offer both in-person and online therapy.